Dating? Listen to God. No, Seriously!

How I wish I could go back and undo a million dating mistakes!  And marriage mistakes!  I know I have told you that I was married twice before. I regret having not listened to God while I was even considering dating them.  Both times, I was unequally yoked with them. What does it mean to be unequally yoked?  In our case, I was a born-again believer in Christ and they weren’t. The Word of God says that believers should not be yoked together with non-believers. (2 Cor 6:14-18) Being unequally yoked isn’t the only reason these men weren’t right for me, but it should have been a red flag. A HUGE red flag!

I was actually getting ready to walk down the aisle in both weddings and literally heard God tell me not marry them.  I pushed His voice aside and got married.  Yeah, I know…you’re thinking…”what a dimwit! I would never ignore God that way!” And frankly, I truly hope you don’t ignore God that way! The divorce rate is ridiculous in Christian marriages. Not that the two are necessarily connected because God can heal even the most broken marriages, even marriages He didn’t ordain, but if we didn’t listen to Him before dating, during the engagement, and at the altar, odds are good we aren’t listening to Him during a separation and subsequent divorce.

So how do you avoid all my mistakes?

BEFORE dating anyone (or start now), seek the Lord’s will for yourself. 

Ask Him to bring the man/woman into your life that will be His will for you. 

Dispatch angels to bring that person to you.  Angels are sent to us from God to be sent forth on our command to serve us, as long as it lines up with God’s Word. (Heb 1:14)

As you meet people, listen for God’s voice so you don’t get into a relationship you weren’t intended to be in.  That will save you a lot of heartache and time for you and the other person.

Once, before me, my husband met someone and God told him not to date her.  She was a born again believer so they were equally yoked, but she wasn’t God’s best for him and he wasn’t God’s best for her. He didn’t listen and he dated her anyway.  There were times in that relationship that were not only difficult, but miserable for both of them.  They struggled to even like each at times and it went on too long.  All of that could’ve been avoided, but my husband was eager for companionship, so he ignored God’s voice.

How do you detect God’s voice? (John 10:27) He speaks to all of us and we know His voice.  If you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit dwells within you and He guides and directs you.  You know you’ve heard His voice at some point.  You just need to listen and obey.  How do we discern God’s voice from our own? For me, sometimes it is clear because it goes against what I want to do. I wanted to marry those ex-husbands at the time, so when I heard a voice saying not to, it was pretty clear it was not my voice, but God’s voice.

Also, in Philippians 1:9-10, He tells us to pray for His love to abound in us so we can discern what is best. In Hebrews 4:12, He tells us to get into His Word to divide our flesh from His voice.  The Word is how He speaks to us best.  He longs for us to get into His word so he can talk to us.  Once we are in His Word, He can speak to us because our hearts are open to hear Him.

Learn from MY mistakes, please! If you listen to Him now, He will give you a sweet relationship and you will have the best marriage, one that you cannot even imagine.

~Jennifer

Photo credit: Nichole Waters Photography